I like to pretend it's because I think New Year's Resolutions are silly and self-centered. Given that eight of the top ten resolutions (getting fit, losing weight, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, getting out of debt, learning something new, enjoying life more, and getting organized) are mostly about making the life of The Resolver better, I suppose I could pat myself on the back, proclaim my superiority in the face of wanton egoism, and get on with my smug little life.

A tempting thoughtbut then, I wouldn't have anything to write about, now, would I?

And honestly, the truth of it is: New Year's Resolutions can be a good thing that is, if we do it like our long, lost friends the Babylonians did 4,000 years ago when they invented the whole shebang. Back then, the most common resolution was to return something you borrowed during the past year. A couple thousand years later the Romans added a nice touch: asking forgiveness from people you'd harmed.

Seriously: how can you improve upon those?

Think about it: what if we all resolved to return something we've borrowed sugar, money, land, hostages, whatever on Jan. 1? Course, we'd also have to throw in the Roman touch; asking forgiveness, and granting it of those who ask us, would be required to make return-o-rama day work.

The ramifications of this back-to-basics approach to resolutions could be huge.

After we all picked ourselves up off the floor from our collective faint, we might discover that these resolutions resulted in serious accomplishment. Even if only 50% of folks actually completed the resolutionwhich is a little better than the statistic for current resolution follow-throughwe could have a cultural shift on our hands. A veritable new world.

And hey who knows: that could also result in losing weight, stopping drinking, et. al.

On the off-chance I can't persuade all 6.5 billion folks in the worldor even the 656,562 here in Austinto take a little trip down Babylonia/Roman way, all is not lost.

That's because the remaining two top New Year's Resolutions are spending time with family and helping others.

I told you resolutions can be good things.

Now if we just pare the list down to these two, we wouldn't need a mental plane ticket to the ancient world: the original rites would fall into place (and, I'm betting, so would the rest of our resolutions).

And the cultural shift would be even more significant.